It's #FaceFree Friday!
CDC says you don't have to wear a mask if vaccinated, but this blogger kinda liked the old new normal
So, yeah. Why does everyone want to see my face so badly?
As you’ve maybe probably heard by now, the CDC changed its recommendation on wearing face masks in public to “don’t have to do it” as long as you’re fully vaccinated and now willfully sneezing directly into other people’s mouths. #science
In the Before Times, when there wasn't a pandemic, people hated wearing masks. Myself, included. They're uncomfortable. I get that. Yes, they make it harder to breathe. Not impossible, mind you. I've got asthma, but somehow find a way to survive every mask-wearing opportunity I get.
Not to brag, but when called upon to do so to protect my loved ones (the people I allow to stand less than six feet from me) my community (the people I would encourage to stay at least six feet away from me) and myself. Yeah. I’m capable of being uncomfortable for a few minutes while I pick up cereal at the store.
If being uncomfortable for 15 minutes is a huge problem for you, I would recommend you spend some time pursuing some real, actually uncomfortable problems in your life.
Let's talk about the advantages of face masks now. For one, I don't have to worry about smiling at strangers, when they can't see my mouth. Mouths are generally gross, and it's actually kind of weird that we humans signify to other human beings that we are kind, happy and/or non-threatening by bearing our fangs to them.
Additionally, it's great that I can go to the mall and not have to play the "I know that person, but how do I know them? Should I say hi? Should I nod? Never mind, they're gone" game at all.
North Dakota is a small state. Population-wise, not geographically. I-94 is way too long of a way to drive, but at least we’re not Montana. Since there’s so few people here, though, it’s always statistically likely that every rando I encounter in public I've either gone to school with, worked with, am related to or they’re a buffalo because we’ve got more of those than people. Sorry I don't remember more of your names.
Anonymity ain’t that bad. Some of us really enjoy it. Most of them are online trolls, but blending in is great. Nobody steals your credit card number if they don’t know you exist.
Several values differentiate us as people. Our name combinations (Kelly Percival Hagen XVIII), our beliefs and values (several), our Social Security numbers (hard pass) and the number of cats we own (not a goddamn one). Also, our faces set us apart.
By not wearing a mask and brazenly flaunting our naked faces to the world, it’s like you’re bragging about how special you are, snowflake. You don’t need to do that anymore. Hide your face from the world. They don’t deserve to see it.
Anyway, I’m vaccinated fully from COVID, and everybody’s telling me to go back to “normal” and I don’t really want to. Not because I don’t trust you or the CDC. Because I don’t trust anybody. And I like keeping my identity in check.
If anyone needs me, my name is Guy Anybody, and I’m off the grid. Here’s my e-mail address: noneofyourgoddamnbusiness@leavemealone.com.
(Just kidding. It’s kelly.hagen@gmail.com. Send me communications!)