Dudes. Bros. Fellow male humans. Can I tell you about some of my feelings for a few minutes without any/all of you thinking of me as weak?
Yes, despite having a girl’s name, I am all man. My pronouns are he/him, and I don’t get all crybaby when somebody tells me their preferred pronouns.
Growing up as a male in our society, I know the pressures that exist for us to be tough, constantly. Never cry or feel any emotion other than angry, hate or happy because your preferred football squad scored a point or 7. Never say “I love you” to anyone who isn’t your wife or your mom. Love guns and MMA and Oakley sunglasses and Ford F-150s and documentaries about wars and getting paid more than your spouse does. Never, ever act like a woman, because that’s “super gay.”
I get it. Most of the time, it’s fun to act like a dude, and just keep pushing down any feelings of insecurity or anxiety until they build up to the point that you explode and kill yourself or somebody weaker than you. But, hey, it’s not real fun fir the rest of us.
Most of the people refusing to wear masks or get vaccinated are men. Have you noticed that? I wonder why that is?
Stick with me, but my hunch tells me that a lot of men are afraid of looking weak or scared of catching a virus. A REAL MAN would catch Covid and beat the shit out of it. Like the Rock did, or Trump did, or John Wayne would’ve done if he was still alive.
I’m not completely immune to societal pressures to “act like a man.” I feel ashamed when I cry in public. I’m uncomfortable about hugging or saying “love you” to other men, including my dad, brother, friends and my own son. I watch professional wrestling and love “Die Hard,” just like you. I enjoy the concept of baseball and golf, even though I don’t have enough of an attention span to watch full games of these things on TV.
But, seriously. Isn’t it exhausting to go your whole life without admitting you like taking the occasional bath or that Zach Efron is a good-looking dude?
I’m in my 40s now. I’m married to a woman, and we have two kids. If I haven’t proven my heterosexuality to people who know me and to complete strangers by this point, it’s not really my problem anymore.
Every man reading these words (editor’s note - admittedly, there aren’t a lot of you; my reading audience has been lopsidedly female since I wrote for the Tribune 15 years ago, probably because I wasn’t a political commentator or outdoors writer), hear me: I love you. Even if you think I’m gay for telling you. Get vaccinated, wear a mask and care for other people. That’s what a REAL MAN would do.
Or ignore me. I don’t really give a shit. That’s how masculine I am!
(Seriously, though. Like me and tell me I’m good. Subscribe to my blog! Your opinion of me means more to me than my opinion of me!)